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Physical Debility

Musicians are the least courageous class of workers when they go on strike because they are always unwilling to face the music.

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Prison Wisdom

"It would be helpful to you," said the prison visitor, "if you could take a motto and try to live up to it."

"That's right," replied the convict. "I would like to select, for instance, 'We are here today, and gone tomorrow.' "

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Visit

"I am so glad your sister enjoyed her visit to us."

"Oh! well, she is the sort of girl who can enjoy herself anywhere you know."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Love knows no bounds

"What made you propose to her on the steamer?"

"I wanted to prove I could love her even when she was sea-sick."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Diamonds

"Grandad, what makes a man always give a woman a diamond engagement ring?" 

"The woman."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Dark Ages

Why did they call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

Because there were so many knights.

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Troubling presentiment

Young Borem (in the parlor) - "Tommy, does you sister know I'm here?"

"I think so. She told mamma this morning she had a presentiment that trouble was coming."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Chances

"If I should ask old Bullions for his daughter's hand, what do you think of my chances?"

"Very fair. You have youth, health and a good constitution, and should pull through with careful nursing."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Narrow Escape

"They tell me you have had a very narrow escape from death."

"Yes, they were going to operate on me for appendicitis, but they discovered in time that I hadn't the money to pay for it."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

Open Work Proposal

"You say you wear open work stockings all winter?" she asked.

"Yes, I can't get anybody to mend them."

"Oh, George, this is so sudden."

Tags

  • Newspaper
  • 1906
  • Temiskaming Speaker

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